Have you ever found yourself stuck in your own head, thinking through every possible way a situation could go wrong? You’re not alone. Overthinking often stems from a lack of self-trust, particularly the fear that you can’t handle tough emotions if your fears come true (Medium, 2024). The key to breaking free from this cycle and finding peace is to learn how to trust yourself.
Why Overthinking Keeps You Stuck
When you trust yourself, you build confidence in your ability to face uncertainty and handle whatever comes your way. This self-trust allows you to let go of the constant need to control every outcome and embrace a sense of inner peace, even when life feels unpredictable (Duke University, 2023). By trusting yourself, you shift your focus from fearing the unknown to feeling empowered in your ability to handle life’s challenges.
As a therapist with 10 years of experience in the field of mental health, I’ve worked with many clients who struggle with overthinking. It’s one of the most common ways people try to protect themselves from discomfort, but it often leaves them feeling stuck. Let’s break this pattern and explore how trusting yourself can lead to lasting peace.
Instead of facing the discomfort of uncertainty, you may try to take control. You imagine worst-case scenarios, make endless plans, and try to figure out how to avoid getting hurt. While it might feel like you’re being productive, overthinking can leave you feeling frustrated, tired, and stuck. But here’s the good news: there’s a better way—trust yourself (Cleveland Clinic, 2022).
What It Means to Trust Yourself
Trusting yourself means making choices that match your values and intentions and sticking to them, no matter what happens. It’s knowing that true safety and control don’t come from perfect plans. Instead, they come from your ability to handle whatever comes your way.
Research in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has shown that overthinking is often linked to our desire to avoid uncertainty (Hofmann & Smits, 2008). Trusting yourself involves shifting this mindset and building resilience, which is a key part of emotional well-being (Onebright, 2023).
Practical Steps to Build Self-Trust
- Make a Choice and Commit to It
Pick a direction that feels right and aligns with your values. Instead of second-guessing yourself, take the leap and see it through. Trust grows when you show yourself that you can make decisions and handle the outcomes. - Stop Aiming for Perfection
Understand that no decision will ever be completely risk-free or perfect. Things might go well, or they might not—and that’s okay. If it works out, celebrate. If it doesn’t, see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. - Focus on Your Resilience
Remind yourself of past challenges you’ve overcome. You’ve handled uncertainty and discomfort before, and you can do it again. Resilience is the foundation of self-trust.
Shift Your Focus
Overthinking often tricks you into believing you can control everything outside of you if you just think hard enough. But life is unpredictable, and that’s okay. The peace you’re looking for doesn’t come from endless planning—it comes from trusting yourself to adapt and thrive, no matter what happens (Duke University, 2023).
A helpful way to shift your focus is to tune into your body and emotions. Practices like mindfulness or journaling can help you notice when you’re spiraling into overthinking. Instead of trying to control external circumstances, bring your attention back to the present moment.
The Role of Self-Compassion
Building self-trust also requires self-compassion. Overthinking is often fueled by harsh self-criticism—worrying about making the wrong choice or not being good enough (Cleveland Clinic, 2022). By practicing self-compassion, you remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes and that imperfection is part of being human.
Try this exercise: when you catch yourself overthinking, ask, “What would I say to a friend in this situation?” Chances are, you’d offer kind and supportive words rather than judgment. Offer yourself the same kindness.
Final Thoughts
Overthinking might feel like a way to stay safe, but it often leaves you feeling stuck and drained. The real path to peace lies in trusting yourself—knowing that you can handle whatever comes your way (Medium, 2024). By making decisions aligned with your values, embracing imperfection, and practicing self-compassion, you’ll build the confidence to face life’s uncertainties with strength and grace.
Remember, learning to trust yourself is a journey, not a destination. With each step forward, you’ll find more clarity, confidence, and calm. Start small, stay consistent, and watch as your self-trust transforms your life.
If you’re struggling with overthinking, anxious and/or catastrophic thoughts, we’d love to support you. Connect with us !
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Bibliography
- Hofmann, S. G., & Smits, J. A. (2008). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for adult anxiety disorders: a meta-analysis of randomized placebo-controlled trials. Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 69(4), 621–632. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18363421/
- “Overthinking = Lack of Self-Trust: Understanding and Overcoming Overthinking.” Medium, 2024. https://medium.com/@SoberReference/overthinking-lack-of-self-trust-understanding-and-overcoming-overthinking-75ad66f24c59
- “How To Stop Overthinking: Tips and Coping Strategies.” Cleveland Clinic, 2022. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-stop-overthinking
- “CBT Techniques for Rumination & Overthinking.” Onebright, 2023. https://onebright.com/advice-hub/news/cbt-rumination-overthinking/
- “Stop Overthinking and Start Trusting Your Instincts.” Duke University, 2023. https://sites.duke.edu/lodtraininghub/2023/08/30/stop-overthinking-and-start-trusting-your-instincts/
